Need An Antidote

So this morning I chatted with Dad, plus my cousins (from my uncle/aunt on my mother’s side) over Skype. We had a four way chat going on, with one terminal at my dad’s office, one at my cousin’s house in Taipei, and two locales here, that being Kevin and his notebook in his room and me and my computer in my room.

Mom ran interference between the two of us, chatting whenever she pleased. Kevin also had the webcam set up so we could see each other and stuff. It was lots of fun, especially when hearing a slight echo due to the double location. Cool stuff.

I talked to my cousins (older, if I hadn’t mentioned it) about my current situation, what I’m doing, how I’m coping, that sort of thing. After it was late (back home in Taiwan) and they logged off, I then chatted with Dad about regular stuff like classes and . Despite my pressured temperament (read: stressed, anxious, snappy), he still encouraged me throughout, to keep going and do what I have to do.

I appreciate that, and also greatly appreciate my mother’s presence here. I found out that I can’t really study in the library. What is supposed to be a haven for focus is a headache inducer of class 10 for me. The air is stuffy, and me being the air-quality sensitive type, I get sick; not to mention the constant fear of looting (I pack all my stuff up when I go to the restroom, then unpack, which is real fun). In short, being there is quite counter-productive.

That leaves me with few locations to choose from for study. I wouldn’t dare go to a friend’s house, because there might come a time when people say it’s “inappropriate”. Coffee houses aren’t much fun either, I get anxious about the sanitary conditions of the desk and chairs, not to mention, the usually horrendous state of the restrooms.

So, I have to study at home. Concentrating at home hasn’t been a huge trouble for me, but to be honest, my study ethic could be better. It’s not that because the computer and other various forms of recreation are so readily accessible, nor is it the lovely view outside my window (did I mention the flowers are blooming), and of course it isn’t the numerous trips to the frig, but simply…

Regardless, I have known that in ancient times, those who pursued the scholarly path did study at home and they were able to concentrate and accomplish “stuff”. I see no such difference in ability, after all, aren’t we supposed to be more “evolved”? So I should be able to do just that, i.e., study at home, and achieve my goals as well.

However, everybody needs help, and what I need now is not Cupid’s arrow (don’t mind that of course, but it’s like trying to fix a car engine with a defibrillator) but the kind of big ass syringe like that in “The Rock” where Cage pokes it smack in the middle (I’d say he missed his heart by two inches); the one with like a liter of fluids with a needle the size of a meat thermometer.

In my case, I need one filled with glowing green goo, composed of economic and mathematical definitions, properties, lemmas, and theorems, plus a liberal dose of question solving prowess, a few fast replicating nanobots to “adjust” my physiology so that I am better suited for “economics” and last but not least, a bit of alchemist brew made up of four-leaf clovers, horse shoes, rabbit foot and whatever charms to provide a bit of luck… scratch that, heaps and mountains of luck.

I need that.